His Inspiration, His Constant Love
by kirei chime
Summary: Jacob Black never imprinted, nor did he fall in love again. Two hundred years after his death had passed. Alice's addiction, something from the past will haunt Bella. Will she remember?
1. Chapter 1

HIS INSPIRATION, HIS CONSTANT LOVE

(Note: I don't own Twilight or the characters. Stephenie Meyer owns them. I happened to be just a fan.)

_What if Jacob Black never imprinted at all?_

Chapter 1: The Lonely Twist

(_Jacob Black and Edward Cullen happened to be at Bella Swan's bedside during her difficult and strange labor. This story transcribed at the middle part of Breaking Dawn, but it deviated to another plot._)

When Jacob saw the baby in Rosalie's arms, he still felt the hatred in his heart, knowing that this baby almost killed her mother, his dearly beloved Bella. However, when he saw her eyes, his anger suddenly melted. He must have seen those eyes from somewhere else and somewhere so near and familiar, but he didn't know where. He, however, did not feel any gravitational pull towards the baby who they called Renesmee. Somehow, he knew that he had to protect the baby since she happened to be Bella's offspring.

And so, it came to pass that Bella did become a vampire, one of those cold ones, just as Alice had predicted. She had lived happily and securely with Edward and Renesmee, as well as the rest of the Cullens. She became strong and invincible as any of them with her own power, a shield, and she didn't need to feel fear anymore. With those traits on the limelight, Jacob felt she didn't need him anymore. She didn't express her need for him like she used to, for she had felt complete. In the past, Bella felt addicted to Edward like a seasoned chess master to chess, and at the same time, felt at ease with Jacob, like a sunflower to the sun. Now, with her vampire nature, she can spend the rest of her eternity with Edward like she had always wanted. She can be a chess master happily addicted to her chess and spend all her life in the dark, thus shunning the sun altogether. That was what Jacob really felt. And so, with still the love in his heart, he decided to let her go and leave without saying a word. When Bella learned of this, she felt concerned for him who used to be her best friend. He had promised to stay, she told Alice. He had promised that they will remain as friends even if she was already married. But she wasn't that worried anymore as she used to be. Or at least that was what she thought. Maybe her nature had prevented her from yearning for other people. Alice told her that perhaps, she can give Jacob his space, and ultimately, his freedom.

Jake went back to La Push. When he went home, the first person he met was Leah Clearwater, the lone female shape-shifter.

"Just what in the world is wrong, Jacob?" Leah taunted him. "Broken-hearted with that Swan vampire again?"

"Look, Leah, if you want to taunt someone, pick someone your own size," Jacob sneered. Even if he was hurt, his ego still told him to act like nothing wrong had happened. "And please, she is no longer a Swan. She's a Cullen."

"Tsk, tsk, tsk," Leah commented. "Don't act as if you are not hurt at all."

"Don't say that as if you are not hurt at all!" Jacob shot back her.

Leah stopped. He was right. She had never gotten over Sam Uley imprinting on her second cousin Emily. That was too much pain for her, which is why she is such a royal bitch right now. She wasn't able to say anything more to Jake than to tell him to get a life. Yeah, to get a life was all that he needed.

That is what he had to do. He will have to have a life. Stop being Peter Pan, he thought. Be more like Wendy Darling, go home and grow up. He went to his father and announced that he is going back to school. For some reasons, he also gave up his ability to transform into a werewolf. And so, he handed back the Alpha rank to Sam and went back to school. A few years later, he graduated high school without a girlfriend, working hard all he could just to be able to attend college. And fair enough, he was admitted to a very prestigious and prodigious film school, working at night to make ends meet. After all, he was a man of all works, a jack of all trades.

And soon, he became a film writer, and later in his mature years, he successfully became a renowned director. His movies became major blockbuster hits worldwide, and most of them even had local adaptations in different countries. Most of the novels one can mention had been transformed into life in the reel. He had garnered all the international awards and all those accolades in his craft in all those decades that he worked. For all those times however, he only granted his first on-camera interview when he was about 77 years old. And all those time, he never fell in love, and he never married. When he died, his pack-brothers, still beautiful and young and strong, buried him according to the Quileute custom.

-_tsuzuku_-


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2: Two Hundred Years Later…

Alice had really felt all giddy while reading the new novel she had bought at an antique store. Bella went over to her sister and frowned as she looked at the spunky young lady go gaga over the old book.

"What is that, Alice?" Bella asked, deadpan.

"Oh, you see, this book by Johan Lake is the best! Like, I found this author 50 years ago, and I happened to fall in love with him! It seems that this Johan guy had written a lot of books in his lifetime, and believe me, this is a classic!"

"Why? What is the story about?" Bella asked.

"Don't ask me, silly," Alice laughed. "You should read this."

She handed the book to Bella. "You know I am not one for books. Besides, I am busy being a mother."

"Oh Bella, Renesmee is already seventeen!" Alice said. "She can take care of herself. Besides, she had learned brawling from Emmett."

Rosalie came in, and as usual, was a very strict woman that she is. But she isn't bad at all. She came over to tell Bella that they all need to transfer locations, as people had started to notice that neither of them seems to age. People also noticed that Renesmee had stopped aging like her peers.

During their travel, Bella got sick over Alice's new obsession. Not even Jasper could stop his mate from falling in love with a centuries-old author whose novels were a hit back then and even now. They had a new version of a DVD player, and it was already all right to be bringing a cell phone onboard. Alice had really a huge collection of Johan Lake's novels as well as his movies which he had produced and directed in his lifetime. Some of his books were also made into movies. And believe me, Alice couldn't seem to get enough of Lake's movies while they were on board.

"Where are we going, Mommy?" Renesmee asked Bella. She was busy doing her nails while they were on board the first-class accommodation on the plane.

"I happen to don't know, my dear," Bella told her teenage daughter. It seemed that her daughter and she looked a lot like sisters more than a mother and daughter. "What do you think, Edward?"

"Carlisle said we will be going to Japan," Edward said calmly. "I've heard that the country has preserved its beauty over all the centuries that had passed."

Edward was always formal. What is? However, Renesmee never got his formal upbringing. She was more of used to her mother's awkward ways and her aunt's sunny lifestyle.

"Japan? Cool! Like, it is still the land of anime, right?" Renesmee beemed. She had read in a cool website in the internet that Japan had once been dubbed the anime country, full of anime and J-pop music many centuries ago. She had wondered if it was still the same. And being a girl of technology, she surfed on the net while she was doing her nails, and found out that Japan was still the anime country it used to be. She had announced that she wanted to experience cosplaying, but Aunt Rosalie forbade her to do so. They might get exposed, she reasoned out.

"But cosplaying is fun, Aunt Rosalie. I want to try," Renesmee answered back.

"Let her try having some teen fun too," Esme said to Rosalie. "After all, she is a teenager."

"Now that you mentioned it, I wanna try cosplaying too!" Alice beemed.

The other people in the airplane fumed upon hearing the noisy family, but they couldn't apprehend them for the vampires really looked scary. Bella had already been used to those scared faces for centuries, and she didn't mind.

"Wake me up when we get there," she told Edward

-_tsuzuku-_


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3: _Nihon de_… (In Japan)

The American Classics Association had organized an exhibit of its arts in Tokyo, Japan. For centuries, they had many exhibits in all parts of the world, in museums where people can stop, look, and marvel of the American arts and classics.

Japan was still the same as it was since then, and people still live in peace and prosperity in this era they called Heisei, which was established in the year 1989. The Cullens had settled temporarily in a posh manor in Akihabara, a busy shopping district in Tokyo. They were planning to move to Hokkaido soon after the trip to the exhibit, for they weren't willing to mingle with the rest of the Japanese crowd. They couldn't risk being exposed. While Renesmee, Alice, and Emmett had fun cosplaying in a local show, the rest of the Cullens went to the museum. As they were all marveling at the paintings and the potteries, Bella caught sight of a painting of a wolf with a russet fur. The wolf was on the cliff, howling at the full moon. The painting didn't stir any memories at all, but she was a bit troubled when she saw the painting of a woman sitting on the tree near the cliff where the wolf was. The woman looked a lot like her. She saw the label and read what was written there.

"The Cry of the Wolf," she read. "By Johan Lake."

She shook her head. Alice should have seen this. Her favorite author and director happened to be a renowned painter as well! Edward noticed his wife being upset and asked what the matter was. Bella shook her head and lied. She was okay, she lied. She was glad that Edward still couldn't read her mind. She didn't tell him she was upset because the lady in the painting looked a lot like her. But of course, Edward might have noticed it. She scanned more paintings by Johan and found that almost all paintings had that annoying woman present. In one tablet, there was a trivia. One question posed was, who is this lady that was always present in his paintings? There was a rumor that the lady was just an object of his affection, or the lady was simply his inspiration. Even in his golden age, he had the painting of that lady who never grew old, and one conclusion came that the lady might be Lake's constant and lifelong love. Bella hated the thought that someone must have seen her and had never forgotten her incorruptible beauty, and thus had her as the subject of his paintings. Damn! He also happened to be Alice's favorite author! What the heck?

That night, in the manor, everyone but Bella all gathered around the grand piano to listen to Carlisle as he played. After all these centuries, Bella suddenly felt tired. Had her humanity returned? No, it cannot be! She didn't want to grow old. She wanted to stay young and be with Edward. So, she went to her room and sulked there.

She grabbed the book Alice had lent her and began reading it. The book was entitled "Night Child." She read the synopsis at the back and found that the story was typically for teenagers. She laughed a bit as she remembered her high school days with her friends. Of course, how could she not forget Angela Weber and Jessica Stanley? And who must have been the lucky girl who had ended up with Mike Newton the ever loser? She knew that her friends had been dead by now, of course. And so, she flipped open the pages and read to her heart's content.

The story was about the three contrasting people in an international school for the ultra-rich. Llalla Crane, the protagonist, was the most intelligent and the richest girl in school but was also the troublemaker who got into fights with other bullies as well as the school fraternity. She claims to study just for the sake of having to learn the practical stuff of life just for herself. Her antagonists were the self-righteous and the most dependable school council leader and basketball captain, Jason Moore, and his manipulative girlfriend, Hannah Bower. As the story progresses, Jason and Llalla, who were gross enemies, ultimately became fast friends until their senior year in high school. The running gag of the story was the constant bickering between Llalla and Hannah. At the near end of the book, Llalla confessed her love for Jason, who cruelly rejected her. He repented what he had done, because Llalla attended only graduation where she received highest honors, but didn't show herself to the graduation prom.

Bella cried many times when she read the novel. It was so touching. She felt she could relate to it, but she couldn't remember if she had experienced such a thing. She knew nothing had gone in the way when she and Edward fell in love and got married. And so, as if by a strange incident, she felt asleep.

-_tsuzuku_-


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4: Gone To The Past

A dream surfaced in her mind, and she saw the face of a guy so familiar to her that she had forgotten him. Jacob Black. Had she really forgotten him? Yes, she had. When Alice told him to set him free, she ultimately forgot about him though he had been her best friend. She woke up in a daze, and saw that it was morning already. She had read the novel the whole night and realized that she had slept for an hour. Edward was still not by her side, as he was still downstairs, still listening to the piano. She got back the book and flipped to the profile of the author. The author didn't put his real name, not even his initials were printed. He was too smart an author, that is. In his movies, Johan Lake just used that screen name and never revealed his real identity.

The Cullens left Akihabara and went to Hokkaido, but Bella and Alice remained. They said they need to investigate something, and the others didn't even dare ask or pry. And so, Bella told Alice her dream.

"Could it be that something is related to Jacob Black?" Alice speculated.

"I don't know. Why don't we fly back to America and visit him in La Push?" Bella suggested.

Alice agreed. She and Bella got ready and flew back to America.

A lot had changed since their last visit to La Push many centuries ago. The log where Jake and Bella used to sit on near the beach was gone, and in its place stood a tree house. Bella could only imagine her best friend running around in his wolf form, doing his patrol. They went over the tree house and found a young lad mending his net. The lad seemed so familiar, Bella thought, although the young lad looked like the older version of a child from her past. They went over to the young lad and asked.

"Good morning, may we ask?" Bella asked the young lad.

"Yes, what is it?" the young man answered politely.

"By any chance, are you familiar with a certain resident here with the name of Jacob Black?" Bella asked.

The lad looked at them curiously, agape. He clapped his hands and smiled as if he had seen an old friend.

"Bella Swan? Alice Cullen?" The young man said excitedly. "It's me, Seth. Seth Clearwater!"

Seth had grown taller and bigger and the two vampires were so happy to see him. But Seth's face fell.

"Well, you were looking for Jacob? But he's…"

"What Seth?" Alice asked.

"Jacob Black died two hundred years ago," Seth informed them.

Bella felt large hail chips knocking her down. Her best friend died? But how could it be? He was a werewolf who never aged!

"He gave up his ability to transform and lived on. He grew up, grew old and died," Seth said.

"Uh, do you happen to know his descendants?" Alice asked.

"He was a bachelor all his life," Seth said. "He never married."

Tears fell from Bella's eyes for the first time in centuries. She didn't know why her best friend left without saying anything, not even giving her the time to say goodbye. They never had any closure at all. She knew that her best friend was upset to know that she and Edward were going on a honeymoon, but during her difficult pregnancy, he was there for her. She even felt sad and sorry for him, for he died alone and childless.

"Are you okay, Bella?" Alice asked. She knew how Bella and Jacob had always been close.

"Hey, Seth!" a guy called out.

The other guy looked tall and horrible to behold. He went running over to Seth and asked why the net wasn't still in place when he noticed the visitors.

"You've got visitors, eh?" the man said before cringing. "Ew, what's that smell?"

"Sam, remember Alice and Bella?" Seth beamed.

No wonder, it was Sam Uley. Of course, he remembered them. He apologized, stating that he hadn't smelled vampires for centuries. He noticed Bella crying and asked what was wrong. Even before Bella could speak, he noticed the novel in her hand.

"You're a fan of that book?" Sam asked.

Embarrassed, Bella replied. "No, Alice lent it to me."

Sam smiled a bit. "Hmm, a lot of people happened to like 'Night Child', I guess."

"That I do!" Alice squealed. She really loved the book.

Sam looked away from them and looked at the sea. He stared for it a bit as if in meditation. Alice and Bella looked at each other in confusion before looking back at Sam. Then, Sam looked back at them.

"You know, for centuries, many tourists came here to visit old pal Jacob's house," Sam said.

"Huh?" the vampires echoed.

"You see, Jacob studied hard and became a famous author, film writer, and director," Seth shared. "And people came here to see the humble abode-turned-museum of our old friend."

"And Jacob Black wrote that book," Sam said as he pointed his finger at the book in Bella's hand.

"No way!" Alice exclaimed in disbelief. "You mean to say…"

"Johan Lake is Jacob Black," Sam replied sternly. "He never revealed his identity in his books, only his location. If you go over to his house, you can see that it says there, 'Johan Lake's house', and only a very few sources revealed his true identity. Perhaps only school records and his resumes reveal such truths."

"How…how did you know all these things?" Bella asked in disbelief.

"We're pack brothers, remember?" Sam said. "Of course, he updated us with his life, just as we updated him with ours."

Bella looked hard at the sea where she and Jacob often hang out in the past. The place suddenly became memorable. He had been there for her when Edward left her, as if Jacob had always been a scapegoat. Then, wiping her tears, she smiled a bit and asked how the other members of the pack were doing. Seth didn't reply but instead, shed a tear.

"Oh, I didn't mean to pry, I am sorry Seth," Bella said.

"You know, Leah also gave up her ability to transform a year after Jacob did and she lived on and died," Sam said. There was a bit of sadness in his tone when he said that. He never had the chance to atone for all the sins he did for the broken promises he was supposed to fulfill to her. Of course, it wasn't his fault that he imprinted on Emily; it was simply involuntary. Leah went away after that and came back only once in a while. She, too, never imprinted, and never got married. Leah had become a fashion editor and later on the president of the fashion magazine where she had worked all her life. Leah died two years after she retired from the fashion industry. These two people, who didn't find luck in love, excelled in work.

Sam invited the vampires over to his house where they can rest a bit and refresh themselves. That night, before retiring, Bella went over the book and find any evidence that might mean that Jacob indeed wrote the novel. Although she found none, she read the book again. It hit her, that the protagonist's name had been a corruption of her name. Llalla, Bella. Perfect. She closed the book and looked at the photos in Sam's guest room. There were a lot of his pictures with Emily, and some of Jacob's pictures. In one of his pictures, the twenty-eight Jacob Black received an award for the best script in an international competition. It said, "Johan Lake received first international award." It was a real photo, not a newspaper clipping, and someone close to him might have taken the picture and kept it for portfolio purposes only. She had never seen any of his photos in public, and all of his photos here, she saw them for the first time. No wonder she never got any news of his whereabouts. He had been hiding in another persona. She saw how handsome her best friend had become over the years. She saw more pictures of him until the last picture when he very, very, very old. She also saw his original paintings in the house, and how beautifully preserved they were! In all of the paintings, she saw that familiar girl again.

Sam came inside the room and looked at Bella looking wistfully at the paintings.

"More of his original paintings are in his house," Sam said. "Those in the museums are not the originals. If you want, I can accompany you to his house tomorrow."

Why of course! The paintings here looked the same as the paintings they saw in Japan.

-_tsuzuku_-


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5: Jacob Black's Memories

And as Sam had promised, he accompanied Bella and Alice to Jacob's house the next day. There, the vampires saw many more of Jacob's paintings and original manuscripts of his novels and scripts. Copies of his films were also found in his house which was already turned to be a museum where Sam and Jared were the caretakers.

While they were watching the paintings, Alice commented that the girl in Jacob's painting really looked a lot like Bella.

"But of course, it is Bella!" Sam said. Bella got upset again.

"And I happened to remember a few stuff though," Alice said. "In every opening of his novels, Johan Lake often mentioned of dedicating his works to his everlasting love or his constant love. Could it be…?"

"Yes, Jacob dedicated all his works for Bella. You were his inspiration and was always and will always be his first love," Sam said.

The words struck like lightning and tore Bella's heart. No wonder she had found the same girl in all of the paintings. She had been immortalized through his works. Even in the movies, Sam said, one line never goes away: No matter how long, I will always be waiting for my first and everlasting love. Alice squealed in sheer delight.

"How romantic!" she said.

"Will you stop that Alice?" Bella shot back. "I am married to you brother."

"Sheesh, so-rry!" Alice babbled.

"You know, Bella, there are a lot of faces of love. The love Jacob gives to you through his works might not be anymore the romantic love I had read in his thoughts before; it might be a best friend love. But as it is, it is still love. That is why he was so good—no, he was the best. And for many centuries, many people still read his books, fall in love with his paintings, and watch his old movies because all of these were masterfully made out of love. He had created classics and some of the world's masterpieces because of love. They were reminders of his constant love for you. Not even once did he ever forget you. Because of his love, his works had been immortal."

Alice and Bella watched two movies which Jacob directed. One movie was from another author, and the second movie was "Night Child." There, Bella remembered all the things Sam had said about her and Jacob, and as the characters flitted on the screen, her heart ached and she cried.

That afternoon, the three of them went to the grave where Jacob was buried. Sam and Alice left Bella alone to grieve for her best friend. Engraved on the tombstone was a figure of a wolf and his name. Bella knelt down and cried her heart out.

"Why? Why did you leave me without saying a word? It is unfair!" she sobbed. "I told you all my plans. You know I wanted to be a vampire. You know I was getting married. I told you I was going on a honeymoon with Edward. Yet, you never shared to me many things even though you were my best friend. It's unfair!"

As she continued to sob, she didn't know (and nobody knew) that Jacob's spirit sometimes lingers near his grave, as if he was waiting his whole soul life in centuries for her to visit him in his grave. He looked like the Jacob that Bella had last remembered him to look like—so young and so beautiful. He only looked at her in sadness as she continued to cry her heart out.

"You know, I thought that I will never need you again. I also tried to forget you and followed Alice's advice of giving you your freedom. But I deeply regretted it for not finding even a single way to find you when you left. I didn't even try to contact Billy or Seth just to ask for your whereabouts. In effect, we never got any closure. And yes, I thought I had forgotten you for all these centuries. Only when I knew from Seth that you had long been dead did I realize that the regret is gnawing my soul, if ever I still have one—no, my heart, if ever I still have one. No, regret is eating me, and I realized I had to spend my whole eternity regretting that I never got the chance to properly say goodbye to you, or even patch up with you. The last guy who broke my heart and actually almost took out my sanity was Edward, and you know that. For centuries since I became a vampire, I never knew what pain is, I never know what heartache feels anymore. Yet, remembering you through all these memories here in La Push made me realize that I am hurting because you left me because I also left and broke your heart. Jake, this is how heartache feels, right?"

And Jacob's soul nodded in sorrow as an answer, though Bella could no longer see him. He exactly knows what heartache feels like. He knew that Bella also loved him in the past, but they were just best friends and nothing more. When he decided to leave, he felt like dying. He had always felt like dying everytime Bella went mushy with Edward, and he felt like dying when she married her boyfriend. The best thing he could do was to find his path and live his life, just as Leah had carelessly advised. His soul looked at her in great sorrow and shed a tear. He sighed as he couldn't even touch the face and comfort his dear Bella. He couldn't even say anymore that he was sorry, and he couldn't ever say anymore that he had forgiven her. And the saddest part is he could never say to her in person and in the flesh how much he loved her and that he loves her still.

She sobbed and sobbed, but as the pain eased a bit, she wiped the tears away before smiling stupidly.

"Hey, I have read one of your novels and seen a few of your movies. Sorry I was not much of a fan. I didn't know it was you," Bella laughed a bit despite the tears.

She touched the engraved wolf on the tombstone.

"Sam said your works had all been a labor of love and that I was the inspiration of it all," Bella said. "Jake, thank you for loving me. Thank you for being there for me. Thank you for making me an inspiration of your works. You had done well and had surpassed your abilities all because of me, even if you have to suppress your feelings and forget how it is to fall in love again."

Tears fell again.

"Thank you so much, Jacob. I would not have hang on to life if it were not for you. Thank you for being my best friend. I am so honored to have you as one, and I am sure every girl will envy the relationship that we had. No one will understand how I feel, and only the two of us can understand each other. Our memories are only between the two of us, and I have no one else to share it with me but you. I will always cherish the day when I first met you, and I will also continue to cherish the days that we spent together as best friends and short-term lovers."

Short-term lovers. Jacob's spirit chuckled a bit. Sometimes, Bella could be so funny and clumsy that she hadn't changed that part of her, he thought.

"I love you, and I miss you terribly, my personal sun. From now on, whenever I will look at the sun, I will always think that it is you watching over me. Thank you, my best friend. I will never ever forget you for all my eternity," Bella promised.

For the first time, she felt the cool zephyr on her skin. Since when was the last time she felt the wind? Was it during her last days as a human perhaps? However, it wasn't the wind. It was Jacob Black hugging her.

"You will always be my best friend and first love, Bella," Jacob said.

-owari-


End file.
